16 Tons

Daily Prompt: Sixteen Tons

How do you feel about your job? Do you spring out of bed, looking forward to work? Or, is your job a soul-destroying monotony of pure drudgery, or somewhere in between?

I work seven days a week; not necessarily because I have to  but if I want to have money for, oh say groceries or a movie, then it’s what I have to do. Five days out of the week I don’t have to be at work until 8:30 AM. Now that may still seem early but compared to waking up at 5:30 AM on Saturdays and Sunday,s it feels like sleeping in. I am not a morning person at all and dread hearing my alarm go off. I cannot remember the last time I woke up feeling excited to go to work. If I ever even remotely look forward to work it’s actually anxiety over everything I have to get done. I feel the sooner I get started, the sooner I can be done with it.

I didn’t chose the position I have. I always seem to take jobs that I can get and never a job that I truly want. Probably because I am not sure what I want. I think I would be quite happy not working at all. I have so many things I would like to do if only I had the time. If I didn’t have to work to support myself I would spend my days reading, writing, painting, doing arts and crafts, taking classes on art, history, science and I would take naps like I use to. Alas that is not my lot in life. I am in social work which is definitely the wrong field for someone who is introverted, has trust issues and very little empathy and patience for people. But I do it because it pays the bills and has good benefits. At first this was a good enough reason to stick with it but lately it’s gotten so bad that I’m taking off more and more.

The work itself in not very challenging; every process has so many tedious steps. The higher ups give us more work than can possibly be done in the workweek and expect us to work overtime to stay on top of it. I also do not believe in the program I administer. In this position there is no room for growth. In fact, I am in a position that only requires a high school degree while I have a bachelors. There a new people with bachelors who also do what I do but they have a different title then I and are paid more. Yet when I ask about a promotion, I am told there is no funding available to promote. I know it is not my work performance because I have very good numbers and get compliments on my work often. I do feel that I am being punished because this is not “my calling”.  Because I am not a warm fuzzy or bubbly person but I have a strong work ethic and consistently perform well.

My weekend job is very easy and pays well for the type of work it is. It is more in the hospitality industry. I do enjoy the people I work for but our management company is a nightmare.; starting with our manager.  She loves to intimidate, play favorites, micro-manage and pick on people. I’ve been lucky to stay off her radar but it may just be because I only work two days a week.  I do however get to work with my best friend but that may be the reason I have stuck with it for so long. The income helps but If I really wanted I could live off one job.  My social life would suffer and I’m in a point in my life where I feel that things are not going to change anytime soon so I invest most of my spare income on my social life.

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